Hosanna in the highest...

We sang this song in church tonight and it spoke to me so much about a lot of things going on in my life right now. I especially like the words in the chorus - "heal my heart and make it clean", that was my prayer tonight...

I see the King of Glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes

The whole earth shakes

I see His love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing

The people sing

Hosanna, hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

Hosanna, hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith

Selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and sing

We're on our knees

On our knees

[Chorus]
Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you

Have loved me

Hosanna, hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

Hosanna, hosanna

Hosanna in the highest
[Repeat]

Hosanna in the highest(Hosanna)

Belllllllller-ina!!

Ok, so Pablo will love this post! This is our wee Bella! She is so adorable!

I have been so tired this week after work and ended up just sleeping when I got home and being very anti-social!

Mes flatmates are gone to a wedding for the weekend so have the house to myself...yup...just me and Bella! This is a really sweet photo of her so thought that I would post it up for all of you who aren't on facebook! I think I am too good with her though and spoil her rotten. Sometimes I treat her like she is my little baby (this job promotes broody-ness...not good)! Hmmmm, one day I will be a proper mummy as opposed to a cat mummy...hopefully!

I have been thinking a lot recently about my future and the desires of my heart and sometimes I find these desires so conflicting to what is going on in my life. I get so impatient with God as well and then I wonder if what I think He has promised me, I have actually heard right...

I desire so much to be pursued, to be loved, to get married, start a family! I know too much of the time though that I put marriage on a pedastool and think that it is going to be this perfect idealic life...part of my knows that will not be the case, but I guess I can't help dreaming. Some of you may know tha I have been working my way through Captivating...I really need to get back into this now instead of bringing my work home with me just because all the paperwork is taking longer than I would have hoped. I need to chil-ax more! I am not a student, I can now have a life!!! Not sure what this weekend will contain though my friend, Tim is down south so will probabl catch up with him at some point...can't do a lot though cuz I have no money to my name until I get paid...can't wait until I am on the proper tax code and I actually have the right amount of money from now on.

Well, enough ranting! It be after 2am (knew I shouldn't have slept so much earlier on) Night Night! Keep in touch, Shaz xxx

Perhaps an update is required to assure you all that I am still alive...

Sorry, that I have not updated this thingy-ma-jig in a wee while. Things have been pretty busy here and when I am not busy, I am usually trying to unwind or sleep so this blog-age has not been one of my top priorites right now.



This past fortnight has been really difficult for one reason or another and I have been struggling to sort out my emotions trying to determine my real feelings and the like...deep I know but I think these things need to be done and I need to write this all down in order to get it out of my head. I am getting frustrated about not being able to control things around me and I am finding it really hard to hear what God has to say in it all and part of this is probably due to the busy-ness of everything. I think I need to start takin more time out of life to get away from it all and go and simply BE...not about do do doing but just BEING! (This probably makes more since to me than anyone else so I do apologise)


Aside from all of this emotional shizzle, things have been going really well - I am still loving my job, everyday is more than different and I have been experiencing everything from hanging curtain rails, looking after robo-babies to anti-natal classes so its all good fun! I have settled into life in Croydon really well and am planning to start a photography course very soon if I hear back from the college...that reminds me, I should go and ring them over my lunch break

I am not really sure what else to say so I should just post this and go and have something to eat before my stomach begins to eat itself...not altogether a bad thing though

Shaz xxx

I Am In The Midst Of The Storm

This word is submitted by Mitzi Busby [mitzibusby12@gmail.com] -----

I Am In The Midst Of The Storm


I am not calming the raging waters around you, but I am stilling you in the midst of the storm. Things have not gone as you planned, but I am rising up strong in you and in your struggles. The things that you will learn during this time could only come through experience. If only you would have listened, your peace would have flowed like the river and your righteousness as the waves of the sea. Still, now is the time to calm your spirit and listen to Me. I bring peace, not as the world knows it. The peace I bring is not temporal. It does not rely on circumstances, but relies upon My Truth. I have been with you all along, through the good decisions and through the bad ones. I have not forsaken you and will not. As Your Father, I will walk you through your darkest valleys to the next mountaintop. Thejourney is long but well worth the trip. Do not lose hope. Hope in Me. Inever let go, but always perform all that I promise. True repentance and total trust in Me will open doors for you that no person could. Listen. Listen, My Spirit is speaking to the deepest depths of your soul, but you must quiet yourself to hear Me. I sing over you the songs you need to sustain you. Hold fast to My Word. Be honest with Me and with yourself. Commit it all to Me and watch for My outcome. Seek My heart for your life, and not your own. You have done things your own way, now try Mine. I never let go. See what I will do on your behalf. I will heal the broken places to make you whole.

Schemage in London

Annual Leave from work today...so thus beginth the schemage!
Me and Abbi had been scheming against JamJar for over 3 weeks and she knew nothing of it.
This morning, she checked them both in at Aldergrove and then asked Jess to check the passports...

Jess: You have brought the wrong passport, this is my passport
Abbi: Oh well, you will have to come to London with me as well
Jess: What, huh? How? But I have no clothes, my mobile phone is at home and I have nothing else with me. I can't go Abbi?!
Mum: Here are your bags with everything in them hunni...go through security and go to London

Unbeknown to the Diva, I was also scheming against her and I was well chuffed when it all worked out so well despite me being late getting the train from East Croydon, it all worked out better and I was able to surprise the Diva as well by turning up at a random station on the Piccadilly Line and jumping out on them with a specially made sign. They had no idea I had got the day off work and they thought that I was planning to meet them later at Victoria station for dinner.

Well, they have headed off to the CBBC studios in White City for a tour around and I am updating bloggage and checking emails as we still have nooooo computer...should perhaps get someone to fix our suicidal PC at home

Not much else to say really...

I am a lot happier today, I had a rant last about men - why do I bother!? Eventually the right one will pop up from somewhere...God has told me that He is dealing with it but I find it so hard to be patient at times and end up trying to sort the issue out myself by hanging out with the wrong kind of guys just cuz they say the right things and make me feel good about myself. This is something I need to continue seeking healing about and trust God to set me free from.

Well - I should probably go and rescue the Diva and JamJar now...of course we have been taking looooooooooads of photos so these will be added at some point!

Love you all and please continue to keep in touch,
Mucho thanks for all the letters and cards from you all, they are all stuck to my wall!

Bridget Jones rant....

I am having one of those days...well evenings I guess you could say where I think that I am going to be a single spinster FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Question...why are men so confusing?? I don't get it AT ALL! Why won't they just make up their mind, say how they feel...

I don't think there is anything more I can say actually...I think I am going to go home, curl up on the sofa with the cat and read...(typical spinster life!)

PS - Work was crrrraaaazy today! All the residents have fallen out with each and I think I have made it worse rather than better...who knows! Maybe tomorrow, things will be better!

My lack of immune system...

Okay so last week, shazzy got a yucky cold over a week ago and is still getting over it at the minute! Also on friday - started to have a really eughy tummy over the weekend but thought nothing of it really but Monday night I was soooo ill! I shall spare you the details but basically I spent the whole day on Tuesday in bed...unfortunately, I sent a message about being ill to the wrong phone at work so everyone was trying to get hold of me and they were really worried about me. Two of the girls I work with even came to my house and knocked the door but I was dead to the world as I hadn't slept the night before...How sweet though! Couldn't imagine the manager of Tesco coming round to see if I was okay...such a joke that would be! He would just demand to know where I was and why I was not there to ensure I served enough customers to make sure he was able to get that new BMW!

Anyway - enough rant about illness! Its making me bored anyway! I was really sad to have to miss work, I was going crazy being in the house all day - I hate not achieving stuff and it gets me down if I haven't got stuff done so my day in bed was not an enjoyable one but I did do some reading which was all good I guess.

I also spent some time praying and God has been revealing a lot of areas where I need to allow His healing touch but although it is something that I really want to happen in my life because I know I am not going to be able to move on in my faith or in life without it, part of me is still cautious to let God in and I can't work out why...I guess I have been hurt so much in the past and in fact quite recently and I am finding it hard to open my heart up again...why though - come on!! Its God! He is not going to hurt me. My head is a little all over the place today and I would appreciate it if you could pray for me regarding this issue

On a more positive note, it was nice to get back to work today although I had a lot of things to get caught up, some filing to do and a few residents to catch up with. Now that I am more aware of what my job actually entails, I need to work out how to get everything that needs done fitted into a day so that I can be more effective in my job. I was really challenged today to be praying for my residents more as well because I haven't been doing that. I guess I am just feeling distant from God right now as I feel like I keep messing up loads and find it harder to forgive myself than He does.

Ok - time to get out of this internet cafe now! I am starving right now, haven't really eaten much in the past few days and my tummy is yelling - "shaz feed me!"

Love you guys loads and really appreciate hearing from you and for your prayers, Shaz xxx